There are moments on our path to self-discovery that feel like lightning bolts to the brain after a new shift in understanding.
Those lightning bolts happened to me this weekend, and I’m here to share with you what I discovered.
Throughout the ages, spiritual teachers have prophesized that suffering is a choice.
This is a hard pill to swallow when it seems natural to us, especially because of our brain’s built-in negativity bias.
Because our brains hold data on all the negative experiences we’ve gone through, it can be challenging to change chemical habits and see things in a new way.
I started to dig deep into some of my habitual suffering habits and asked myself some tough questions.
As humans, we are tribal. That means we naturally compete and compare. It’s a part of our nature and it’s not going anywhere.
But what if we could change our relationship with this and make it feel better? Since we know we are built to engage in competition and comparison, can we decide to understand them better?
I went a little deeper and asked myself this: what is that suffering from competition and comparison? What is the pain and where does it come from?
And that’s when the lightning bolt hit.
The suffering comes from assumptions — both about ourselves and about others. If we changed our assumptions, could we feel better about our lives and unique paths?
The ego is built to work in contrast.
This means it is designed to compare and compete.
Knowing this, we can change our relationship with how we compare and compete. We can remind ourselves of our inherent power to rewrite our inner narrative.
Let me ask you a question.
Think back to the last time you were envious of someone because of something they had or accomplished.
Now, dig deep and ask yourself WHY you were envious.
I’m willing to bet that it had something to do with an assumption, either about you or about the other person.
Here are some common assumptions that paralyze us and skew our vision:
- “That person is happier/more successful/more loved/more valued than me.”
- “I can’t have what they have.”
- “They have the secret to living a good life and I don’t.”
- “I can’t get to where they are.”
- “I don’t have what it takes.”
- “They must know something I don’t.”
- “They’re smarter/more unique/more intelligent/luckier than me.”
- “I’m gonna have to work way harder to reach the same goal.”
- “Everything always works out for other people.”
- “I am left behind.”
- “They are chosen and I’m not.”
Oof. Talk about a buzz kill, right? All of these are assumptions, nothing more.
Unless you directly ask someone how they’re feeling, you’re just guessing.
Assumptions cloud our vision and waste our energy.
Change your assumptions and poof! your envy or jealousy starts to die down quickly.
Why?
Because you’ve come out of the trance of suffering. You’ve taken your power back and reminded yourself of the truth.
The fact is, we have no clue what other people are feeling or experiencing unless we ask them.
And when we clean up our self-assumptions, we feel an inner freedom, joy, and love that reconnects us with everything we could ever want: TRUTH.
“I can’t have what they have.” = “I align with all that I desire.”
“They must know something I don’t.” = “I know everything I need to know in this moment.”
“I can’t get to where they are.” = “I am always on the right path for me.”
Scratching the surface of our assumptions reveals the hidden truth underneath: you are an energy being and nothing will change that. You have the power to decide who you are and where you’re going.
So, the next time comparison creeps into your world, check your assumptions at the door first.
Ask yourself where the pain you’re feeling is coming from and face it head-on.
Name it, thank it, and release it back to Source.
“I’m feeling envious of Charlie because of his new car. I now know that this envy is probably coming from an assumption I have about myself or Charlie and I allow that to surface and be released. I remind myself that I can also attract a new car in a new way, so Charlie and I are the same. We are both energetically connected to all the riches in the galaxy. I readjust my thinking around a new car and allow myself to receive it.”
Talking it out with yourself helps you re-discover the truth: that you are part of the fold. You are divine and nothing will change that.
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