No, You’re Not Cold-Hearted — You Probably Have Empathy Fatigue

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I couldn’t figure out why my body was responding like that.

But here I was again — face hot, stomach clenched, and rage swirling from the bottoms of my feet all the way to the top of my head.

And the only thought that kept repeating itself?

“I’m sick of people telling me to be more empathetic.”

As an empath, I’ve been empathetic all my life.

I feel everything deeply. I’m highly sensitive to energy shifts, mood changes, and sensing when someone feels rejected, left out, or alone.

I was an on-and-off caretaker for my mother for over 20 years.

I’m a creative, which means my career has always focused on connection and service to others.

And I’m a woman who’s been socialized to put others before myself, reject my own needs, and make sure everyone else is a-OK, without anyone reciprocating.

Throw in a little bit of old religious programming, and you’ve got a recipe for empathy overload.

And I gotta say, I’m tired.

If you’re reading this and nodding your head, chances are you’re tired, too.

I didn’t have a name for what I was feeling, but I knew it went against everything I’ve been taught to believe that made me a “good person.”

Turns out, being a “good person” meant abandoning myself over and over again. It meant being dismissed while others were allowed to shine, receive support, and be praised for it in the process. It meant explaining away my authentic reaction to my boundaries being crossed by telling myself that it was my duty to help, heal, or soothe.

As I pondered this, I came across a post from Dr. Nicole LePera, who wrote the book How to Do the Work.

In her post, she was articulating everything I had been feeling, and she even shared a name for it.

When I read it, it all made sense, and it also quelled some of my feelings of shame and guilt over my lack of interest in displaying any more empathy (except towards myself).

Drumroll, please!

What I was suffering from was not a cold heart. It was EMPATHY FATIGUE.

Because Dr. LePera said it best, I’m sharing a few screenshots from her IG post. If you resonate with any of these factors, it’s okay to take a step back and re-evaluate where your energy is going.

Image courtesy of Instagram

It’s like Dr. LePera is inside my head (and my body and my heart!).

Image courtesy of Instagram

Sound familiar? Let’s keep reading!

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All of this is programmed into our brains and bodies before we have any conscious say or will. Then, we see ourselves as the “helper,” the “savior,” and “the dependable one.” This skews our self-worth to be based on how much we can be there for others, all while abandoning ourselves.

Image courtesy of Instagram

Throw a penny, and you’ll hit some form of suffering. That suffering is not our responsibility to fix solely.

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The body and brain keep the score. When we neglect our own needs, desires, wants, and energy, the body retaliates to get our attention.

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It’s okay to stop giving. It’s okay to take a break. It’s okay to give empathy TO YOURSELF.

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When I learned it was not my responsibility to fix people’s problems, reactions, or emotions, I was set free. This doesn’t mean the pattern stops immediately. It means you are able to see your role so you can adjust anything that doesn’t fit who you want to be NOW.

Image courtesy of Instagram

“You were not meant to be everything to everyone.” Wow, thank you, Dr. LePera!

I was never your sole responsibility to fix the world, fix other people, or fix every single situation.

If you don’t feel empathy right now, then listen to your body. Chances are, you’ve given way too much, and now you’re yearning for some of that to be thrown your way.

You’re not selfish for wanting peace or space. That makes you human, and it makes you aware.

The next time someone tells you to have more empathy, remind them that it’s not your job to carry the weight of the world on your back.

Need more support?

Book coaching with me to get personalized guidance.

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Grab my book on Amazon or Bookshop Santa Cruz and meet Your Most Aligned Self.

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Use This Money Mindset Tweak for Quick Results

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Are you trying to “allow money in” with no results?

I get it because I’ve been there.

Sometimes, all we need is a little tweak, and everything starts to feel better.

Traditional manifestation techniques tell us that we have to “be” the vibration of whatever it is we want to attract.

If you want more love, BECOME loving.

If you want more peace, BECOME peaceful.

If you want more money, BECOME abundant.

This is all well and good, except for when all our previous conditioning, beliefs, and patterns get in the way.

How to think about money in a new way

Instead of doing all the work, I encourage you to try something different.

Yes, you want to remain as open as possible and stay in the state of abundance as best you can.

But here’s something to add to that feeling that will lower the pressure of trying to “get it” and understand that it’s already yours:

Remind yourself that the money you seek is also seeking you!

Boom! Doesn’t that feel better?

Here’s why this is helpful: it lets you off the hook a little bit and helps your nervous system relax and regulate. (Your nervous system is the gatekeeper to everything new you want to let in — if it doesn’t feel safe, you won’t manifest it).

When you decide that all the money you dream of is out in circulation with the intention of finding its way to you, you can enjoy the process more, which is the whole point!

The money you want already exists.

First, it exists as energy — it lives in your consciousness and in your field. It’s real.

Second, it exists physically — as digits on a computer screen or as cash in someone’s hand.

You don’t need to create anything! You don’t need to “will it into existence.” It already exists. That work is done.

Your work is to decide that it’s yours and that it flows to you easily because it wants an experience with you.

If you believe that everything is about consciousness, then money has a consciousness, too. Everything is alive and malleable because everything is energy.

If you really wanted to go on a date with someone, you would want it to be mutual, right? Otherwise, the date would suck or be super uncomfortable. You wouldn’t get the full experience of connection.

So why should it be different with money?

You have a relationship with it, don’t you? I bet you talk to it, plead with it, maybe curse it sometimes if it’s not showing up for you.

That’s a relationship — an ebb and flow between two entities.

So, you need to decide and know that money wants you, too. It’s not a one-way street. It takes two to tango.

Many years ago, I heard Abraham-Hicks say the same thing in a different way: “There is money in this universe with your DNA on it.” Woah. I love that, and I have to agree.

Try this today!

Connect with money and remind yourself that it’s also seeking you. It wants to make your life better, more peaceful, and more secure.

It longs for you like you long for it. Trust this and decide it’s true for you.

Need more support with your money mindset?

Book coaching with me to get personalized guidance.

Uplevel your nervous system and mindset with my self-led digital products.

Grab my book on Amazon or Bookshop Santa Cruz and meet Your Most Aligned Self.

Become a magnetic manifestor by purchasing Your 60-Day Manifestation Journal.

Join my email community for helpful teachings.

Do you need blogs for your health and wellness business or practice?

Book your free 20-minute discovery call
Visit the writing services page
visit the total wellness copywriting home page
visit the wellness blog home page

This 3-Step Prayer Method Will Catapult Your Results

Woman praying.
Image courtesy of PEXELS on Pixabay

Have we been praying wrong this entire time?

When I was growing up in the Catholic Church, prayer was a big part of my life.

If something went wrong in the world, we prayed. If we wanted something, we prayed. If we wanted to avoid something, we prayed.

And guess what? I don’t remember it ever working how the teachers said it would.

Prayer means different things to different people, and it’s a loaded word in the modern world.

As I got older, I realized that prayer had less to do with trying to change an outcome and more to do with feeling gratitude.

After all, when we feel grateful, we vibrate at the frequency that brings us more.

I just learned something from a spiritual teacher I follow about prayer that I had to share.

It falls in line with the gratitude idea, but it’s a little more specific. I’m hoping this will help you, too.

This is how prayer actually works.

In religious tradition, prayer is sold as a way to control outcomes and change circumstances.

In spiritual traditions, prayer has been defined as experiencing the feeling of gratitude, fulfillment, and completion as a way to create more of that.

This 3-step method I’m sharing with you will catapult your results and have you seeing magic throughout your day.

First things first: prayer is not about a request for something you don’t have. It’s a present state of gratitude. It’s recognition of what you already have.

The next time you want to pray, follow these 3 steps.

1. Acknowledge what you have (not what you don’t have).

2. Appreciate what you have — presence with your current abundance.

3. Allow what needs to come next.

These 3 steps create a state of being that says, “I’m good, and I have everything I need right now.”

That state of being is what gets broadcast to the quantum field, reflecting more of that goodness back to you.

When you pray for something you don’t yet have by acknowledging that it isn’t here yet, you recreate that experience for yourself: an experience of not having.

This is where many people get tripped up, especially when they want to manifest something new.

Creation is about acknowledgment of its existence, not the lack of it.

If you want more money, acknowledge and appreciate the money you have right now (even if it’s one penny!) and then allow what needs to come next for that money to expand.

For this example, what needs to come next might be bumping into a friend who offers you a job, hearing intuition that says to take a walk, and finding a $100 bill on the ground, or being brave enough to answer an email from a potential client.

Prayer is not about struggle; it’s about peace.

Making this simple shift will not only feel better but also deliver results.

Remember: everything you desire is about a feeling and a state of being.

This method helps you stay in the feeling so you can create more.

If you need further guidance, I have a variety of coaching and support options.

Book coaching with me to get personalized guidance.

Uplevel your nervous system and mindset with my self-led digital products.

Grab my book on Amazon or Bookshop Santa Cruz and meet Your Most Aligned Self.

Become a magnetic manifestor by purchasing Your 60-Day Manifestation Journal.

Join my email community for helpful teachings.

Do you need blogs for your health and wellness business or practice?

Book your free 20-minute discovery call
Visit the writing services page
visit the total wellness copywriting home page
visit the wellness blog home page