Is positive thinking a challenge for you?
You’re not alone.
Many people find it hard to stay positive because they don’t know how to feel good, which is a prerequisite for focusing on what you want.
Let’s not forget the word ‘positive’ is subjective. What’s positive to you might feel negative to me. It’s all relative.
How about all the mixed messages about positive thinking and toxic positivity? People are fighting for their limitations all over the place. We don’t need that.
In our culture, stress, struggle, and strife are rewarded, redeemed, and admired. We love a good struggle story, “I came from nothing and now I own the world.” Thinking positively is not woven into the fabric of our lives. Achievement, accomplishment, and status are.
I bet you have trouble staying ‘positive’ and there’s a reason for that.
Why positive thinking is challenging.
If you’ve practiced ‘negative’ thinking for many years, your cells are ‘negative’ too.
There’s a whole lotta science behind this, but essentially, each thought we think makes a chemical and those chemicals are sent to our cells. As our cells bathe in these chemicals over years and years of negative thinking, they become addicted to the negative chemicals. This is no different from a sugar or heroin addiction.
When people have been unconsciously practicing negative chemicals for decades and then try to ‘think positive’ after reading one book, it doesn’t work. The body and the mind are not aligned. No change can happen and the old pattern starts again, like a junkie who needs a fix. But in this case, the junkie is your cells and the fix is more negative thoughts so they can feel those negative chemicals.
See why ‘thinking positive’ can feel like an uphill battle while wearing sandbags?
Try Replacing Positive Thinking With Satisfaction
Think about the last time you went to your favorite restaurant and ordered your favorite meal.
Think about the last time you crossed a big item off your to-do list.
Think about the last time you got a raise, received unexpected money, or won something out of the blue.
Think about what it will feel like when you get to kiss your dog after work tonight or have dinner with your best friend this weekend.
All these scenarios bring up a feeling of satisfaction.
Satisfaction is a whole lot easier to conjure up than positivity. Why? Because as I said above, most people don’t know (and haven’t practiced) feeling good, which is a catalyst for positive thinking.
We also have a built-in ‘negativity bias’ in the brain which scans for threats constantly. In essence, our brain is built to look out for bad stuff. This keeps us alive.
The brain isn’t built to keep you happy, it’s built to keep you safe.
People who have been practicing anxiety, fear, frustration, and victimhood for years can’t pivot to thinking positively with lasting results. Their cells won’t let them.
Until you get inside the brain and change the emotional signature you’re creating, nothing in your outside circumstances will change. I speak from experience.
Many people become frustrated because they can’t stay on the positive train. They get off at the first station because it’s too bumpy of a ride. Of course it is. There hasn’t been any groundwork laid for the positive thinking to take effect. The mind and body are not in sync. The mind wants one thing and the body wants another.
Satisfaction is more accessible because there isn’t a lot of conditioning around it. We rarely hear, “You’re trying to feel satisfied? Good luck with that!”
Satisfaction is simple because it can be felt for a small blessing or a huge one. It’s transferable. It’s not weighed down by people’s expectations or limiting beliefs. It doesn’t get a bad rap like positive thinking does.
And satisfaction can grow. It can get bigger without our beliefs getting in the way.
I doubt you have negative associations with satisfaction, but I bet you have some with positive thinking. Our beliefs about life create flow or resistance. Most people who try to remain positive (while feeling negative in their bodies) are creating more resistance than they realize.
50 Simple Ways to Create Satisfaction
If feeling ‘good’ brings up too much resistance, conditioning, or negative associations (“I’m not allowed to feel good if others are suffering.”), try creating satisfaction instead.
We all know the feeling of satisfaction. It can feel like wholeness, completion, and balance.
Being satisfied with something will create good feelings without the resistance so many struggle with.
Below, I share 50 simple ways you can create satisfaction and keep it going. This will change your state of being and allow more satisfying experiences to find you. That’s how the Law of Attraction works: that which is like unto to itself is drawn.
Need some inspiration to create satisfaction? Try these ideas!
1. Bake something.
2. Cook a yummy meal.
3. Watch your favorite movie or TV show.
4. Write or journal.
5. Make art.
6. Dance to your favorite song.
7. Take a walk for 30 minutes.
8. Cross something off your to-do list.
9. Read 10 pages of a book you’ve been eyeing.
10. Make someone laugh.
11. Clean or tidy up! (This is SO satisfying!).
12. Dress up in your favorite outfit for work or a date.
13. Catch up on emails, texts, or social media messages.
14. Run errands that have been bothering you.
15. Finish a project you started.
16. Clutter clear!
17. Take a long, hot bath or shower.
18. Go to your favorite restaurant and order your favorite meal.
19. Buy yourself that thing you’ve been wanting. Yes, that thing!
20. Have delicious sex — either with someone or solo 🙂
21. Clear your desktop.
22. Plant a tree.
23. Garden or weed.
24. Get your car washed.
25. Start a side business doing something you love.
26. Tell a deep truth — to yourself or someone you love.
27. Pick a location that brings up sadness, go there, and find a way to bring up laughter.
28. Manifest something you’ve been dreaming about.
29. Change a belief that doesn’t feel good.
30. Take a nap.
31. Do a 10-minute body scan meditation and clear any energy you don’t resonate with.
32. Pray for or intend a solution to a problem you’re facing.
33. Give someone a genuine compliment.
34. Donate your time at an animal shelter.
35. Floss your teeth.
36. Make your bed in the morning.
37. Do the dishes before you get tired.
38. Get a flower pot and plant some seeds. Anticipate the sprouting!
39. Check all the smoke detectors in your house to make sure they’re working properly.
40. Listen to a podcast on your favorite subject.
41. Sign up for a class you couldn’t (or weren’t allowed) to take in high school or college!
42. Teach a child a mantra or affirmation.
43. Tell a friend what you admire about them.
44. Stretch for 20 minutes and hit all your tight spots.
45. Ask for a raise if you work for someone else or give yourself a raise if you work for yourself.
46. Set up your coffee or tea the night before.
47. Write down 10 things you feel satisfied with each night.
48. Tell your partner something specific you appreciate about them, “I appreciate you bringing me coffee in bed every morning. It makes me feel considered and important to you.”
49. Use your favorite mug, bowl, cup, or utensil.
50. Get in your car, pick a route, and sing your favorite song at the top of your lungs!
Phew! I feel satisfied just thinking about doing some of these! And that’s good because we want to create a new state of being to create a new perception of reality.
Satisfaction as a Mindfulness Tool
How do you feel now? Satisfied? Just kidding. But not really.
Having satisfaction as a tool is liberating because we don’t have to ‘go around’ a deeply ingrained belief system to use it. We can simply cut to the chase.
Remember, most people haven’t done the subconscious reprogramming necessary to have ‘positive thinking’ work for them. There is too much debris that still lives in the cells. Until you retrain your cells to want happiness, joy, and bliss, nothing will change.
However, using satisfaction as a tool can help you start that retraining because satisfaction isn’t scary, intimidating, or mired in other people’s belief systems.
‘Feeling good’ can bring up stress because many people don’t believe they deserve it and so, it works against them.
Will you start focusing on satisfaction going forward?
What tasks or actions make you feel satisfied?
Tell me in the comments!